I refuse ...

Last spring, a online friend of mine began posting various quotes from a book called Crazy Love. At the time, I wasn't much of a reader. Oh, I wanted to be, but rarely made time for it outside of Facebook status updates and blog rolls. I think I averaged a book or two a year, maybe three. Sad, but true.*weak smile*

But I found myself drawn to that little red book. In hindsight, I now understand it was the promoting of the Holy Spirit. I was a believer who had abandoned organized religion and was doing very little to make a difference in the world. As Ann Voskamp writes in One Thousand Gifts,

"If I'm ruthlessly honest, I may have said yes to God, yes to Christianity, but really, I have lived the no."

And that's what I was doing ... living the no. Exactly why is another entry entirely.

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Cut to one day at the bookstore and I'm picking up some chapter books for my girls and the title of the book my friend had urged me to read, promising it would "change my life", came to mind. Well, I was down for some of that change! :p So I bought it, took it home, and began reading it immediately. Boy, I had NO IDEA what I was in for, especially when I arrived at Chapter 4 "The Profile of the Lukewarm." Every page convicted me. No ... actually, every page greeted me with a spiritual slap in the face! But we all need that every now and then, don't we? ;o) I remember wondering just how many individuals thought who does this Francis Chan character think he is?! and decided they were done with that book right then and there! There were many times I myself had to put the book down and allow myself time to digest it, so every word could penetrate my heart.

Here I thought I was doing enough praying for those suffering and praying for folks to step up and help them. Nope! I sure wasn't! I think I knew that deep inside.

" ... I realized after a while that I was using my own prayers as a defense against having to do anything myself. I had forgotten that, as a follower of Christ, I'm called to be the hands and feet of Jesus. And had forgotten that God might want to use MY hands, and MY feet, and MY own resources to help those in need and to show God's glory and His love. And so the song ["I Refuse"] essentially says, "I can't do everything, but I refuse to do nothing."

- Josh Wilson -

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Was my friend ever right. Reading Crazy Love DID change my life. I walked away wanting to be a better Christ follower. I asked God to reveal to me ways I could make a difference in the world. And he did not hold back. See, I had bought into the lie that God only works through amazing individuals ... the Rev. Billy Graham's, Mother Teresa's, Joyce Meyer's, Beth Moore's, and missionaries of the world. Not people like ... me.

I had forgotten the story in Numbers 22 where God used a donkey to save Balaam. A donkey, of all things! Is it possible that God might want to use me too? A person with my past, a person who's made all the mistakes I've made??? Might he want to use all of us? Yes. It's true. 1 Corinthians 1:27 tells us God chooses the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, that he choose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. Wow. I think that pretty much covers ME.

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I want to encourage you not to be deceived into thinking that you need to have deep pockets to make an impact on the world. You truly don't. (Read The Widow's Offering in Mark12:41-44) A little can go a very long way. Shoot, A SMILE can change the world! ^.^

Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could only do a little.
- Edmund Burke -

God sees our hearts and our intentions. I don't believe he favors one who is able to give greatly over one who is only able to give a little. Not at all.

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At first, I wasn't sure where to start, but over the past several months God has open my eyes to many great causes and organizations. I even have a few things in the works that will allow me to give something even more precious than money ... my time. That is something that is important to me. I'm not comfortable with going into detail right now about what I am waiting to hear back on. But I will say one completely takes me out of my comfort zone and two others involve doing something that if asked to do a few years ago, I would have kindly replied, no! thank you very much!

So ... join me, won't cha? What are you waitin' for? :D

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I refuse ... to stand and watch the weary and lost cry out for help.
I refuse ... to turn my back and try and act like all is well.
I refuse ... to stay unchanged, to wait another day, to die to myself.
I refuse to make one more excuse.

‘Cause I don’t want to live like I don’t care.
I don’t want to say another empty prayer.
Oh, I refuse to sit around and wait for someone else
To do what God has called me to do myself.
Oh, I could choose not to move, but I refuse.

- Josh Wilson -